Today I want to share with you exciting discoveries about personal adaptation that can radically transform the way you view yourself and the people around you. This unique blend of theory and practice reveals the key aspects that need to be developed to successfully move through life, and offers strategies for dealing with those who may be operating under the influence of the less favorable sides of their adaptation.
So what is personal adaptation?
It represents the unique combination of feelings, thoughts and actions of each of us, shaped by innate predispositions and early life experiences.
It’s important to note that there is a combination of different adaptations in each of us, and this is perfectly normal – there is nothing pathological about these lifestyles.
Something interesting to note is that each adaptation style has its positives and negatives. For example, a person may be both enthusiastic (positive trait) and prone to overreaction (negative trait) or charming (positive trait) and manipulative (negative trait). These qualities are not determinative, but rather indicate the preferred style and scenario of problem solving.
Each person is at a certain point on a continuum of an adaptation style… some have stronger positive aspects and some have stronger negative aspects.

Everyone has at least one “survival adaptation” and one “approval adaptation” more vividly expressed than the others.

According to the theory, survival adaptations are formed before two years of age. This is when trust in the environment can be undermined (parents cannot adequately take care of us because they are overwhelmed, they overlook our needs, or are inconsistent in caring for us) and we determine how we will handle the situation alone.
We can decide:
* To detach, take care of ourselves on your own and don’t cause problems for others.

In the less stressful circumstances of ordinary daily life, we tend to act largely on the basis of our adaptations for approval – decisions we made between the ages of two and six. These decisions have to do with our ways of gaining parental approval, our reactions to how our parents behaved with us (over-controlling, praising our accomplishments, or admiring displays of our emotions).
We can decide:
* To struggle, resist, shrug off pressure and float along without a clear life plan or purpose.
* To work, produce, achieve, create, organize and exhaust ourselves.
* To try to please and delight others by acting on our emotions rather than using clear thinking.
For better understanding, I will show this with an example of one of the most common types of adaptation styles – creative dreamers.

These people have a rich inner world, creativity and deep empathy. They see the world differently than others. Their capacity for creativity and imagination often inspires those around them. They tend to be calm, helpful, pleasant to be around, unpretentious, creative and think out of the box. They are kind, gracious, develop strength in themselves and try very hard to please others. They tend to b self-sufficient,reliable and eager to help people. They don’t take up too much space.

They respond to stress with rigid thinking, detachment, passivity, numbness, lostness and despair. When there is an argument or stress, they often just withdraw and “emotionally disappear”. They may not be able to think clearly and defend themselves but instead they feel confusion, embarrassment, anxiety, and sadness.

Creative dreamers are often kind, polite, approachable, and very respectful of other people’s space. Many are creative and artistic… appreciating music, fine art, architecture, poetry and have a subtle understanding of nature. For all their creativity, sometimes they can get confused and forget to realize their great ideas. They are reliable friends, a bastion of quiet stability, don’t require much attention from others and are often happy to be left alone.

Creative dreamers learn early in their lives, usually by the age of two, they don’t want too much. They try to steer away from too much excitement and drama. You get the impression that they were born quiet. They fear that they may overwhelm their already anxious and stressed parents, and so they choose to never cause problems. They hope that if they are not too demanding, they will be taken care of and their needs will be met. The message (real or imagined) they received from their parents and environment was, “Don’t demand too much from me!”

Creative dreamers need to learn to take care of themselves to feel alive. They need to get their feelings and needs met back. It is perfectly normal that they have feelings, needs and expectations and that others will respond in kind with them. When they think clearly about their situation and stand up for themselves, they get ahead in life and feel better about themselves.

Creative dreamers need others to help them get out of their detachment and passivity. It is important to realize that their silence does not mean that there is nothing going on inside them, they often have a lot to offer if you ask them. If you sit quietly and wait for them to show themselves this reveal may never happen. It is very important to gently express a firm expectation that they will think about what they want and do whatever is necessary to make sure their needs are met. They will appreciate your clarity and strength… this is something they didn’t get while growing up.

Creative dreamers in their positive hypostasis are wonderful friends, the most trusted confidants and the most loyal employees. In their negative hypostasis, they can completely detach themselves from reality and retreat into a world of fantasy.

How can this knowledge help you?

If you recognize the creative dreamer in you, the knowledge I outlined will help you better understand your emotional needs and how to express your ideas and feelings effectively. And if someone close to you has the described traits, you can gain a deeper understanding of their inner world and how to support them on an emotional level. This article shows superficially an example of only one type of personal adaptation. And understanding all types of adaptation will give you a new perspective on the behavior of your friends, family members, and colleagues. You will begin to notice why some people react to stress in this way and not another, and what approaches are most effective in communicating with each.
If you are interested in the topic of personal adjustment and want to deepen your knowledge, I invite you to an individual consultation. Together we can figure out your unique type of adjustment style and learn how to better understand and support your loved ones. I also offer a course where you can explore different aspects of adaptation in more detail and how to put that knowledge into practice.

Personal adjustment is a powerful tool for self-discovery and improving relationships. By understanding ourselves and others, we open the door to harmony and understanding.
If you’re ready to take that step, I’d be happy to help you along the way.